Spam Haiku

    Spam Haiku

    Spam Haiku

    A sample of the finest Spam Haiku available…

    Grotesque pinkish mass

    In a blue can on a shelf

    Quivering alone

    Like some spongy rock,

    a granite, my piece of spam

    In sunlight on my plate

    Oh Argentina!

    Your little tin of meat soars,

    Above the pampas

    The color of spam

    Is natural as the sky;

    a block of sunrise

    Little slab of meat

    In a wash of clear jelly

    Now I heat the pan

    Oh tin of pink meat

    I ponder what you may be;

    snout or ear or feet?

    In the cool morning

    I fry up a slab of Spam

    A dog barks next door

    Pink tender morsel,

    Glistening with salty gel.

    What the hell is it?

    Ears, snouts and innards,

    A homogeneous mass.

    Pass another slice.

    Cube of cold pinkness

    Yellow specks of porcine fat.

    Give me a spork please.

    Old man seeks doctor.

    “I eat SPAM daily”, he says.

    Angioplasty.

    Highly unnatural,

    The tortured shape of this “food”.

    A small pink coffin.

    Coincidentally, we had recently been corresponding with a Professor Soya, of Tokyo, who had discovered two such Haiku’s in a fourteenth century manuscript by Sashimi, a famous warrior monk and his Buddhist nun consort, Sushi.

    How mysterious this universe is!

    Here’s the one by Sushi:

    Slicing your sweet self

    Salivating in suspense

    Sizzle, sizzle…

    Spam

    Here is Sashimi’s:

    Pink beefy Temptress

    I can no longer remain,

    Vegetarian

    Note: The text of the first line seems to be corrupt.

    Other readings are “Pink porky Temptress” and also “Pink SNOUTY Temptress”

    (Saito, Transcendental Buddhist Poetry of Medieval Japan, 1956, p. 384).

    More of the same from the :

    Hannibal Lecter

    Eats livers, but no pig snouts.

    Silence of the Spams.

    -Chris Fishel

    What is more awful

    Than the sound of squishing Spam?

    A Kenny G tune.

    -Screamin’ Phil Erickson

    Wedding catered by

    Hormel.

    Reception marred by

    Sudden illnesses.

    -John Cho

    Have you found errors nontrivial or marginal, factual, analytical and illogical, arithmetical, temporal, or even typographical? Please let me know; drop me . Thanks!

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    Spam Haiku

    Spam Haiku

    Spam Haiku

    A sample of the finest Spam Haiku available…

    Grotesque pinkish mass

    In a blue can on a shelf

    Quivering alone

    Like some spongy rock,

    a granite, my piece of spam

    In sunlight on my plate

    Oh Argentina!

    Your little tin of meat soars,

    Above the pampas

    The color of spam

    Is natural as the sky;

    a block of sunrise

    Little slab of meat

    In a wash of clear jelly

    Now I heat the pan

    Oh tin of pink meat

    I ponder what you may be;

    snout or ear or feet?

    In the cool morning

    I fry up a slab of Spam

    A dog barks next door

    Pink tender morsel,

    Glistening with salty gel.

    What the hell is it?

    Ears, snouts and innards,

    A homogeneous mass.

    Pass another slice.

    Cube of cold pinkness

    Yellow specks of porcine fat.

    Give me a spork please.

    Old man seeks doctor.

    “I eat SPAM daily”, he says.

    Angioplasty.

    Highly unnatural,

    The tortured shape of this “food”.

    A small pink coffin.

    Coincidentally, we had recently been corresponding with a Professor Soya, of Tokyo, who had discovered two such Haiku’s in a fourteenth century manuscript by Sashimi, a famous warrior monk and his Buddhist nun consort, Sushi.

    How mysterious this universe is!

    Here’s the one by Sushi:

    Slicing your sweet self

    Salivating in suspense

    Sizzle, sizzle…

    Spam

    Here is Sashimi’s:

    Pink beefy Temptress

    I can no longer remain,

    Vegetarian

    Note: The text of the first line seems to be corrupt.

    Other readings are “Pink porky Temptress” and also “Pink SNOUTY Temptress”

    (Saito, Transcendental Buddhist Poetry of Medieval Japan, 1956, p. 384).

    More of the same from the :

    Hannibal Lecter

    Eats livers, but no pig snouts.

    Silence of the Spams.

    -Chris Fishel

    What is more awful

    Than the sound of squishing Spam?

    A Kenny G tune.

    -Screamin’ Phil Erickson

    Wedding catered by

    Hormel.

    Reception marred by

    Sudden illnesses.

    -John Cho

    Have you found errors nontrivial or marginal, factual, analytical and illogical, arithmetical, temporal, or even typographical? Please let me know; drop me . Thanks!

    |

    |

    |

    |

    |

    |

    |

    |

    This page

    is

    1993-2006 by ,

    via the Creative Commons License. Questions and comments? Send

    to the Geek Times Webmaster. (Domain and web content hosting at .)

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published.